Chapter 32: Heat Of The Moment

Heat of the Moment


“Thirteen fucking days! What type of fucking emergency requires you to not speak to me for thirteen days?” I said, deathly quiet. Silence greeted me. “You actually don’t trust me enough to spend time with other people? What the fuck, Roger? I’m not a fucking child.”

“You’re hot when you yell at me.” He interrupted, sheepishly trying to defend himself, or change the subject. I wasn’t sure which.

“Shut up! You’re not turning this around. Listen to me, because I’m only going to say it once. Thirteen days without you is a long fucking time. Thirteen days because you’re angry with me is even worse. I love you, and I don’t want to lose you. So I’m going to tell you about the two weeks. Tom and I hung out a lot.” I took a breath. “We had fun. We laughed, we pushed each other in the pool. We sparred, we did Laser Quest, we talked, we watched a lot of TV. But you know what? All the time, all I could think about was you. Were you hurt? Dead?”

“Aww, c’mon baby.” Roger argued with me. “Was it really that bad?”

“Thinking you were dead? Yes! You know how much I cried? Almost every night. I expect an apology.”

“I realize I may have been a little harsh in ignoring you for that long…but you have to understand me. I was very angry and jealous and possessive. The only way I could deal with that was to be alone. I’m sorry I made you cry – I really am.”

“Uh huh.”

“What can I do to make it up to you baby? I love you, I didn’t want to hurt you, but in a way you hurt me.”

“Its not my fault you can’t fucking trust me.” I said, losing the edge in my voice, slowly. I already felt bad for yelling at him. What I really wanted was for him to wrap me up in his arms and tell me everything was going to be okay.

“You’re right. Did you fuck around with him at all? Do you like him?”

“As friends.” I said. “I didn’t ‘fuck around’ with him. No kissing, or touching. An occasional hug. He gave me a black eye.”

“That little fucker!” Roger shouted.

“It was my fault!” I interrupted, my voice raising above his. I made my way downstairs to the sun room where Tom was sitting, watching TV. I traveled through the room, pointing eagerly to the phone, and shut the big door behind me as I went outside to finish my conversation. “I didn’t move when he struck at me. We were sparring.”

“Uh huh. So he has no control, and you think its your fault.”

“It was my fault.” I said firmly. “So…” I paused, unsure if I should yell at him more.

“What have you been up to these past two weeks?”

“Moping, mostly.” He admitted. “I’m miserable without you, sweet heart. I left my phone off for those days so I wouldn’t be tempted to pick it up.”

“Why did you pick it up tonight?”

“I was trying to call someone, but you called at the same time and the phone started ringing, so I had to pick it up.”

“How long would you have ignored me if that hadn’t happened?” I asked him, my voice growing dangerously quiet again.

“Just until tomorrow. I counted.”’

“Uh huh.” I sighed. “I love you, but sometimes I want to throttle you and hurt you. A lot.”

“I was waiting for you to say ‘I love you’.” He admitted to me. “I thought you were going to break up with me.”

“Why would I break up with you? I love you. It doesn’t matter how much you hurt me, short of cheating on me, I’ll stay with you. I’m going to marry you, remember?”

“You sure? You’re going to get sick of me.”

“I’m not going to get sick of you. Plus…you can make it up to me tomorrow evening when Tom is gone.”

“Oh really? How can I do that?” He asked me, his voice deepening.

“By being good for the rest of tonight and calling me tomorrow morning. I might forgive you.”

“I’m not forgiven yet?” He asked, his voice raising to its dangerously cute octave.

“No. And if I was feeling really mean, I’d leave you with no word for two weeks, just like you did to me. But, I’m not that mean.”

“If it helps, I feel guilty.”

“For making me cry myself to sleep for two weeks? I hope so.”

“Baby, you should never cry over a man. Especially not me. I’m not anyone special.”

“You’re special to me.” I muttered. I had been lying when I said he wasn’t forgiven yet. He had been forgiven the moment after I started to yell at him.

“Awww. So where is the little fucker? Listening in?” Roger asked.

“First of all, you abused me, so he gets a name. His name is Tom. I’m standing outside, and he’s in the back room. So he probably heard me yelling, but I don’t think he can hear me now.” I said. It really annoyed me that Roger still felt jealous of Tom after all this time and my reassurances.

“Would it get me in less trouble if I told you I wanted to fuck you?”

“Nope.” I said, trying not to think about it.

“That I didn’t masturbate for the entire two weeks?”

“Nope.”

“Damn.” He sounded disappointed, kind of. This was our normal banter, and I had missed it a ton.

“And if you had jacked off in those two weeks,” I added for good measure, “Then you wouldn’t have touched yourself for another seven months.”

“Seven months?!” He asked, seemingly offended. “Isn’t that a little much?”

“No.” I explained. “It’s the three fold law, just added a little bit for my own personal pleasure.”

“Well, a month is four weeks. Three fold law would make six weeks, which is a month and a half. You added five and a half months for your own personal pleasure?”

“Something like that. And every night, I would call you and come on the phone just for my own personal pleasure.”

“You couldn’t do it.” He challenged me.

“Want to bet?”

“No, not really.” He said.

“I thought not.” I grinned, smugly. I always won.

And just like that, believe it or not, all was healed. No big apology, no groveling at my feet. I wasn’t even mad, you know? I just missed him a lot. I wasn’t going to let him forget the fact that he abandoned me, but I wasn’t mad. To be honest, the best feeling in the world was hearing his voice for the first time after so long without him. Thirteen days is not a long time in the average life span, not even a tenth of a percent of an average human’s life, but it was in my eyes.

“So did you do anything special?” I asked him. I recounted in my head what Tom and I had done. Fought, traveled to the Falls, shopped, watched TV, swam, did the Laser Quest thing, watched the sunset, took a walk or two…

“I moped around a lot. No fighting or anything.”

“Really? I’m surprised.”

“I was very unsociable and grumpy the entire time. Ask my boss. He thought you broke up with me.”

“I’m not ever, ever, ever gonna break up with you.” I said. I realized my voice was becoming softer, back into its normal “I’ve got a boyfriend and he’s pretty and mine” octave. Ever heard the term ‘helplessly in love’? It applies.

“Sure, you say that now…”

“Shush.” I cut him off. “If you say that one more time I’m going to do something you won’t like.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes.” I searched my head for a punishment. “I’ll make you go out to Burger King, take one of the crowns, and wear it while you’re working.”

“Ouch. You couldn’t make me.”

“Don’t fucking push me.” I lowered my voice to make sure he understood I was serious. Kind of. The idea had just popped into my head, and again, I found it extremely amusing.

“Did I mention you’re hot when you say fuck?” He asked me. “You say it so rarely…”

“You’re not getting laid tonight.”

“What about tomorrow?”

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” In truth I wanted to be fucked until I couldn’t scream any longer. But I felt…horrible, feeling that way with another male within five feet of me, just through a wall.

“Awww, okay baby. Did you and the little -”

“Tom. His name is Tom.” I cut Roger off before he could use the nickname he had assigned to Tom.

“Tom.” He growled the syllable out. “Did you two do anything interesting besides what you already told me?”

“We made bo-staffs.” By the way – a bo-staff is a six foot long, inch thick stick used to fight.

“Ah. Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“I have to get up early in the morning…”

“And?”

“Can I go to bed?”

“No.” I wasn’t going to let him go to bed for at least another half an hour. I hadn’t spent two very lonely weeks without him to let him leave me feeling unsatisfied and unhappy, the way I was feeling at that moment in time.

“Please?” He begged.

“No. You’re going to spew sweet things at me for another few minutes until I feel satisfied.”

“Aww, come on baby! You know you’re my other half and I don’t ever want to leave you again.”

I kept my mouth shut, not saying a word in response. His voice got more urgent and desperate.

“I’m nothing without you! Didn’t you already yell at me once tonight?”

“Uh huh.” I turned around and sat on the table I had been leaning against.

“You’re the warmth in my heart. I never knew I was alive until I met you. I have an awesome memory, but I can’t remember a single day without you in my life, baby. You’re the best part of me, and I hope I can spend the rest of my life with you.” He sounded adorable. And sincere. And then he wrecked it. “Can I please go to bed?”

“You could have, until you asked.” I laughed. It was going to be a long night for him. “Try again.”