Chapter 16: Seconds Later

Seconds Later

“Hello?” Tentatively I picked up the phone, placing it against my ear. His voice rumbled at me, not exactly happy.

“Talk.”

“Umm?” I almost felt guilty for keeping it from him, but its not exactly something that you bring up during a normal conversation.

“You know what, never mind. If you don’t trust me enough to let me in on something that's happened to you, that’s fine. I can wait.”

“Really?”

“Sure.” I could tell he didn’t want to. “Whatever.”

“Whatever is a word that doesn’t exactly hold good memories for me either.”

“What the hell?” He asked me, nearly yelling. He sounded very frustrated, kind of like an angry bear just out of hibernation getting pelted with rocks. I had to giggle.

“Okay, don’t yell anymore. I’ll tell you about the whatever thing, and then I’ll try to tell you about the other.”

“I’m listening.” He said gruffly, controlling his voice with the ease of a man getting a prostate examination.

“Well you remember that dude…I think I told you about before, once, when we were talking a long time ago, the last serious relationship I had?”

“Yeah. Why am I not liking the sound of this?”

“Because you’re male. And you’re possessive.” I said, remaining in my cute octave. “Anyway, the last time him and I had a big fight, right before we broke up and he stopped speaking to me, he used that word excessively. It just irks me.”

“Okay…I’ll try to curb my usage of it.” His voice remained deep, detached, and slightly annoyed. “Next?”

“Um…right, Alex. Well…you know how we met right?”

“During your vacation.”

“Yeah, to Mexico. I hung out with him for quite a while. And I hung out with another dude, Mike, and they were really fun. Alex and I couldn’t find Mike, I think his family and him went out around the town, so somehow we ended up in Alex’s room. He shared it with his sister, but his sister wasn’t around.”

“Uh huh.” Still grumpy, suspicious. “You told me you were a virgin?”

“I am. I don’t lie. Let me tell the story.”

“Okay, okay.” He conceded and I took a deep breath. I had never even written about the experience in my journal before. And he expected me to vocalize it.

“Well, we were just hanging out.”

“In his room.”

“If you don’t shut up, I’m not going to tell you. And I’m starting to think that maybe I shouldn’t, because you aren’t exactly being very understanding, and I’ve never exactly told anyone about this.”

“I’m sorry baby.” His voice softened to its normal volume, and the warm tingly feeling that indicated I was safe returned to my body. “And I did mean what I said. You don’t have to tell me. And I won’t use the phrase.”

“And the cybering?”

“Would stop. If you can’t trust me.” His voice was still soft. “But I can wait until the world stops turning for you, baby.”

“I’ll try.” I took a breath and tried to formulate the mixed up images in my head.

I remembered the lighting. That was the one thing that stuck in my mind. That and the way the room was set up. There was a soft yellow orange-ish glow that seemed to coat the entire room. All of the rooms were like that. The room that Alex and his sister shared was small compared to my room, because I shared with my parents and we had a suite instead of a single room.

“Okay, so we were sitting there, and we had the hotel notepad paper, and he was drawing pictures. I can’t draw worth shit.” I actually still had the picture he drew that day. Odd, I know.

“And all of a sudden, he got up…I think. I can’t really remember the transitioning because nothing really stuck in my head until the moment he came out of the bathroom, and he had one of those disposable razors in his hand, and the weirdest expression on his face. Its like…a long time ago, and I’m sorry, I’m digressing, but I have to tell you this story. When Jake and I were little, Jake used to have the same expression on his face. The one where you can’t really tell if they’re serious or joking. Anyway, he looked at me, and he held it up to my throat, not quite touching, and he looked at me, with that expression, and said, ‘Blow me’. And then I grabbed his hand, and I think I removed the razor, I can’t really remember, and somehow I locked myself in his bathroom. He left the room.”

“And you invited him to spend a winter break with you?”

“Well it was really weird. After that afternoon, I saw him later that evening, with Mike, and it was like it never happened. For a long time I wondered if he remembered. I never did ask.”

“What were you, attracted to the little fucker? I’ve seen a picture of him too. He’s a short, scrawny white guy.”

“Yeah, and he’s not really all that smart either. I don’t know…he was kind of dominating. I think that’s what I found attractive.”

“And I suppose he kept up the same antics when he stayed at your house?”

“He pinned me down a few times. Bit my nipple really hard and left a bruise for three weeks after he left…But it was fun.”

“Fun.” Roger’s voice had started to grow more distant again. “Right.”

“I know, I know. Anyway, that’s why I hate the phrase. Every time I hear it the memories kind of reappear, and I don’t even have a photographic memory.”

“So do you have a thing for him or what?”

“No. I love you. I haven’t talked to him since he left my house anyway.”

“You sure? Because if you’re going to date me but still be attached to him, invite him over and cheat on me, I want out.”

“I’m not going to cheat on you. I’m willing to wait for you, okay? Stop being so damn insecure.”

“Did you know that every girlfriend I ever had cheated on me?”

“I’m sorry. I think most of my boyfriends cheated on me too. But I’ve never ever cheated on them. And I won’t ever cheat on you. Trust me?”

“I’ll try. Just like you’re trying to trust me. I do love you too, okay baby?”

“I know. I love you too.” I sighed. “Can I fuck you tonight?”

“No, baby. It can wait. At least until tomorrow.”

“Okay. I suppose. You realize that was the first time I ever told anyone?”

“I figured as much. I can always tell when you clam up like that, that it’s a new revelation or something.”

“We gonna hang out here for a while?”

“Where?”

“On the phone?” I asked, grinning triumphantly to myself. I had not only overcome one of the obstacles in my life, but also made him stop feeling so damn insecure about something that happened before I knew him. His voice had gone back to its I’m-totally-in-love-with-you tone. Instead of the growling-I-want-to-skin-the-boy-and-eat-his-intestines tone.

“If that’s what you want.”

“You always call me baby. Why?” I asked suddenly. “You know if you were any other person, I’d get extremely turned off by you calling me baby. Its always appeared to me as a sexist term for a woman.”

“I apologize. I use ‘baby’ because you’re cute. That’s all. No bad stories with that one, is there?”

“Not really.” I decided not to tell him about the one ex-boyfriend who used the word every other sentence.

“Storm?” His voice deepened again.

“What! Stop worrying. Those were the only skeletons about boys. I promise.”

“Sure.” He growled. His voice was hot, I had to admit.

“You sure we can’t fuck? I really want to come up to you, just kneel down in front of you, pull down your jeans, take your cock and just start sucking on it…one hand grabbing your ass, pushing it deeper down my throat…” I heard a small strangled moan from the other side of the phone, and continued, “My other hand rubbing and massaging your balls. You know, I don’t think I ever mentioned it, but I’d let you come in my mouth, or on my face if you wanted to.” I heard only silence on the other end. “Are you okay?”

You think you know what his response was. A strangled, choking noise, the one I claimed was my favorite, right? Nope, something much better. Instead of a strangled noise, it had more definition. It was a low, deep moan that made my insides tingle. I’ve only heard that noise a few times in my life as to this point, and I hope to hear it many, many more times. I’ve only heard that noise a few times in my life as to this point, and I hope to hear it many, many more times.

"Uh huh..."

"Okay. You sure you don't want to cyber?"

"Get back online, wench. Now."