Chapter 7: We All Saw It Coming

We All Saw It Coming

Allow me to explain something here. My friend Kaley is about as tomboyish as they come. She’s nearly as bad as me on a good day. So she’s been pretty much single for the majority of her high school career. But as we entered this year, a certain boy who had just moved recently to the school district had caught her eye. From day one, everyone knew it was going to happen. When she called me that night, with that tone, in her voice, I knew something that was meant to be had come to pass.

“Storm?” I can’t really describe the tone that her voice possessed. It sounded like a mixture of ecstasy and constipation.

“Yeah?” I asked her, chewing on a piece of granola bar. It was Sunday morning, and I was getting ready to bet on the fresh batch of football games. My family? Football freaks.

“Can I be squealy for a second? And act like a girl?” She asked tentatively.

“Uh huh…” I waited for her to continue. I heard her take a deep breath and then she nearly blew my ears off.

“Colin kissed me!!!!! Colin kissed me!!!!! It was soooooo awesome.” She shut up like a clam, waiting for my response.

“Awwwwww!!!!! That’s soooooooo adorable! Oh my god, I’m going to melt!” I squealed back in the phone. “I TOLD you so! I knew it! I fucking knew it!”

“Shut up, you did not.”

“So, my lovestruck puppy, tell me more.”

“We were at a movie, and he just leaned over and…yeah. And then when he was bringing me back home, at the door.”

“Did he break up with whats-her-name?” I asked her. The boy was about to go on my asshole list if he had kissed my friend while cheating on his girlfriend.

“A few days ago. But we’re not dating or anything.” She made it sound as if that made it all better.

“That’s SO cute. Hey, hang on a second, alright?” I asked her. I lowered the phone from my ear and yelled down the stairs.

“Hey mom! Guess what!” I shouted, waiting for her response. I heard a muffled “What” coming from below me, but I could barely hear it over Kaley’s shouts of ‘you better not tell her!’

“Kaley got kissed by a boy that she has a crush on! And we all knew it was going to happen!”

“That’s cute!” Mom hollered back up the stairs. “Is he a nice boy?”

“He’s alright.” I shouted down. “The biggest surprise is – she’s acting like a girl!”

“Wow. When are you going to do that?” Mom yelled back upstairs, teasing me.

“Shut up!” I yelled back down, laughing, and I shut my bedroom door. If only she knew…

“So, was he a good kisser?” I asked her, settling down on my bed to hear the entire story.

“Well the first time was an hour ago, and the second was fifteen minutes ago, and I’m still smiling. So I suppose so.”

“Or maybe its just that you haven’t been kissed in a long time.” I suggested, teasing her gently. It hadn’t really been that long, maybe a year or two. The last boyfriend she had had though, wasn’t one that had made kissing a pleasant experience. He was a rebound from the previous relationship, and he was fat, hairy, and his IQ was about as high as his age – eighteen.

After that boy – Mike, I think his name had been – Kaley had laid off of the relationships. Myself? I haven’t been kissed in three or four years, last time being fucking around with one of my other friend’s brothers while she was passed out because of a bad stomachache. Right beneath her slumbering form, we screwed around for a while. Strangely, I find that I can turn myself on better than the thirteen year old George McCann ever could. After that, I too, laid off of kissing boys for quite some time.

“So, did anything else happen? Or did he just kiss you? No secret sexcapades in the men’s restroom or anything?” I asked her.

“No, that’s dirty. I’m not a whore!” Kaley protested. “Stop laughing, Storm!”

“Yes ma’am.” I answered her. “Are we doing anything today? I don’t have to work today, so I’m just set to watch football.”

“We can’t do anything today or tonight. I’m set to go to grandpa’s and help him clean out his garage. Doesn’t that sound fun?” She asked pleasantly, with sarcasm dripping from her voice like a leaky faucet.

“Oooh, it does. Well, you have fun with that. I’m gonna go eat something because I’m hungry. Am I picking you up tomorrow?”

“As always.”

“Alright, I’ll see you around.” I closed the conversation.

“Bye.” I heard the click of her phone, and then I, too, hung up. I sat back grinning to myself. I knew that was going to happen.